Haunted House on Windy Hill???

I have been hesitant to mention the spooky goings ons here at Windy Hill, as I have placed a huge ban on all things spooky in this location.  I have had enough spooky in my life and do not look forward to anymore at all.  Thank you!

However, in deference to Halloween, I will in fact let you in on a few choice tid bits that did cause the hair on my arms to raise a little bit.

http://www.hauntedstudio.com/hauntedhill.htm

While sitting at my computer typing away, I hear crash! Bang! bang!  Coming from the kitchen...I pear around the computer and see both dogs looking, with ears perked in the direction of the kitchen.  Neither of them seemed particularly anxious to go investigate though.

"Some guard dogs you two are."  I say, and then begin typing again.

Crash!  BANG! then the creepiest sound of all ...something rolling across the floor.  Kharma is up, hair on her back standing striaght on end, Doom is growling low in his throat, neither of them are investigating!  What is going on?!  These two dogs go racing into to the other room on High Alert with teeth bared and hair up, if my own friend steps outside and then back inside again.  We hear mystery noises when no one else is here and they do this?  What are they waiting for ~ Michael Myers to come in with an engraved invitation?!

Michael Myers

Stupid dogs.

I shoo them towards the sounds...they walk slowly towards it...I walk even more slowly behind them...just like in the movies when it the people are stupidly sneaking up on something that really can't be snuck up on..

Rolling around on the floor is a white plastic pail that had been previously sitting upon the food tote.  Hmm, that's curious, but it could have been the least weasel knocking it down.  The dogs sniff around and Kharma does this weird thing in which she looks me directly in the eye and slowwwwllly wags her tail.  (brrr, creepy, I hate it when she does that.)  I say "Kharma, stop being weird and come on. "  She snaps out of it and "comes on."  I go back to typing, with no further incidents.

Next is the radio that turns on everyday while I drop my son off at school, I come home to the radio playing softly.  If I stay home that day and do not take my son to school, the radio stays off.  It's as if it only turns on to greet me.  hmmm

http://doowackadoodles.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html

As we know, the wind around here is always atrocious, so I attribute much of the sounds to the wind.  The banging on the windows, the wind (or suicidal cardinal, depending on if it's dark or light out) The strange creaking sound, the wind blowing the loose siding...the whistling, the wind blowing through one of the many cracks along the doors, the plunking sounds above my head, the least weasel making his nightly rounds.   Doors popping open, the house is crooked as it is, of-course the door didn't shut properly last time, or the time before.  Curtains blowing with the windows closed, definitely a fault in the old window seals.  The huge rain cloud that is always over my house, well it is that time of year.

http://www.wunderground.com/wximage/FairyGodMa/7?gallery=

But  maybe, juuuust maybe, for tonight only...I might entertain some thoughts that it could be something else...and now I will be going to Weedy Flats where I know it's safe!

Moonie, my favorite Halloween cat! Forever Kittens Cattery

Napoleon Cat Mythology

Ever wonder why God created the Napoleon cats for Angels, and why those Angels no longer have Napoleon Cats?

I’m here to tell you the story…of how the Napoleon Cats came to Earth…

Napoleon Kittens of Forever Kittens Cattery

   

When God made the Angels, caring for them was such a beautiful task that he wanted to share the glowing feeling of being a protector and provider with his wards.

Credit: Mark Ivan Cole 

 First, he gazed out upon all of the good in His creation for an inspiration: two things caught His eye: Napoleon Ice Cream, and the lowly dandelion. Napoleon Ice Cream was God's favorite indulgence (humans erroneously call it Neapolitan Ice Cream) because even though each color represented a different flavor all still had the same inner essence of sweetness.  As for the dandelion, even then, most adult humans viewed dandelions as weeds; however, it was to the innocent children that God directed his gaze, and he saw that they recognized the beauty of a flower that represented the Day and Night He had created.  In the dawn of a dandelion's life it is the color of the sun, but as a dandelion dries it turns to fluff the same color as the moon. God has heard many wishes of children who count to three and blow dandelion fluffs to the wind with their heart on their lips.  So God made Napoleon Cats as light as a dandelion fluff, as light as a child's wish, so that the cats could float beside their masters the Angels. God made the Napoleons all different,  just as His ice cream but no matter how they varied, always they had a sweet and tender spirit.

credit: dandilion

"Napoleon" Ice Cream

The Angels and Napoleons lived in harmony as eras passed, each working along side one another. The Angels guarding the humans: the Napoleons waiting patiently by their masters; to comfort and love them.  But as time passed the world grew to be a cold and loveless place full of wars and lies, murder and darkness.  A child whose name has long since been forgotten was born into this world and because of this young girl ~ other humans also have been gifted with Napoleons.

Angel with Napoleon Cat

 Wandering the streets of a desolate town, tears running down her face into knotted hair unbrushed by a mother lost to cancer and a father to the war: the girl child simply started to break apart inside.  Her feet took her to a playground that had been dismantled years before, but still had enough space for a patch of grass and a smattering of weeds. She crumbled to the ground in despair; her face cushioned on her hands she opened her eyes to see a dandelion.  As a final hope she plucked it and whispered her wish with the sincerity of any prayer and blew on the count of three- her only desire: to be loved.

It was then that an Angel boy no older than her own eight years appeared before her and said, "I caught your wish as it floated up to Heaven. Even though I'm not your Guardian Angel, God said I could help you." With a smile, he whistled softly and his own Napoleon Cat trotted into the girl child's out stretched arms. Before she could thank the young Angel for such a precious gift, he vanished. The bond between Angel and Napoleon is strong; therefore, the boy angel often followed the human girl to see his friend the Napoleon   The Angel enjoying watching the love and warmth that the Napoleon Cat and the human girl shared.

Akina of Forever Kittens Cattery, Napoleon Female

 The girl grew, passed from home to home as the foster system will do, but always with the Napoleon Cat by her side, as a talisman of gentleness of spirit and the tenderness of innocence. Though the human girl still cried, her tears were washed away by the warm tongue of her friend and her arms never went without another being to hold.

After that, more Angels followed the boy Angel's example and shared their own Napoleon Cat friends to humans in need of love and comfort. So now, not only do those humans with a Napoleon have a friend who loves them heart and soul but they also have an extra Angel watching out for them.

Author: Courtney Hoskins ~ watched over by Angels and befriended by a Napoleon Cat.

Napoleon Kittens

A Brief Mention:

The first deliberately bred Napoleon Cat was bred by Joe Smith.  A Napoleon Cat is bred to be Long a Low.  Short legs, and cobby body.   They come in both long hair and short haired variety's and can be most any color.  

The First Napoleon Cat, Bred by Joe Smith

The history of the Napoleon Cat can be found here:

 Thank you Joe for producing such a lovely breed!

Kinkalonian Mythology

In Loving Memory of our Kinkalow Cat, Klienecatz Mogwai of Forever Kittens Cattery AKA "Moggie."  

"Moggie" AKA "Maguir" our Kinkalow male. RIP 

This is our account of how the Kinkalow cats took their position as "pet" here on earth. 

Mogwai ~ Kinkalow male of Forever Kittens Cattery

The Kinkalows are a species as old as the center of the Earth.  The Kinkalows wer once revered and held dominion over the center of the Earth. The center of the Earth was knows as Felix Felicis.  (The Latin words for "Luck, happy or fortunate.") The Romans recognized the power of the Kinkalows , and based their language on that spoken by the Kinkalows.  They knew the Kinkalows were revered, therefore, only the elite Romans spoke true Kinkalonian, the commoners spoke vector Latin.  

*Small tip ~ the Kinkalows now find it insulting to be named Felix*

But this was all before Dogma happened.  Dogma rose as a powerful dogtator (dictator).  Dogma's fur was as black as his heart and just as ragged.  un-soft fur meant impurity to the Kinkalows.  You will find that all Kinkalows have soft fur.  But the most unsavory quality of Dogma was his size; he was huge. Since Felix Felicis was in the center of the earth it was a rather small place, so all of it's inhabitants were small.  The smallest of all were the Kinkalows.  but the Kinkalows weren't small to conserve space; they were small because they were the keepers of Luck, and as we all know luck is only good when it comes in small does so it is appreciated.  

After Dogma took over they became even smaller because luck was in short supply..then...their ears kinked.  All cat species are descendants from the ancient Kinkalows, but as you can see the common cats are taller, because they do not hold luck.  More importantly the ears of a common cat are straight.  The luck of the Kinkalows entered and left through the tips of their ears.  When they were straight the luck just ran off, like water off of crystal.  When the ears became kinked it meant that the Kinkalows now had to choose when to dispense their luck.  (Translation ~ Kinkalows...Kinked ears, Low to the ground.)

After Dogma came to power, no more luck was made.  Luck is a very hot substance, which is why Kinkalows are always warm. When Dogma took over, he enslaved the Kinkalows.  He forced to give give their luck to only him.  When a brave Kinkalow refused, Dogma milked it of all its' luck.  when a Kinkalow dispensed all of it's luck, it died.  Dogma was a murderer.  But little did he know that the last drop of luck a Kinkalow gives is the most powerful.  Dogma killed many Kinkalows, and so got many powerful drops of luck.  but Dogma was evil and the luck a Kinkalow gives is a gift, a pure gift.  Dogma corrupted the Luck; so the Luck turned bad.  It ravaged all of Felix Felicis, turning it to Lava (remember ~ luck is hot.)  Though it destroyed Felix Felicis, its heat melted the cage the Kinkalows were in, thus freeing them.

Seeing that their beautiful city was merely a skeleton of its old splendor, and knowing that the ghosts of their brave brothers would forever haunt them, they chose to journey to a place  no other Kinkalow  had ever been.  The outside of Earth.  This i s when the Kinkalows stopped speaking.  their grief over their brothers and city was too much to bear...therefore, they stopped speaking out of kindness to whomever lived topside.  they knew the story they could tell was so horrible it would cause sadness to descend over the topside.  So the final Kinkalows made a vow of silence so that they would always remember what had happened, and we (the humans)  would never have to.  In all their ancient glory the trudged to our world.  

Forever Kittens Cattery Ivory, Kinkalow Female..arriving topside.

The Kinkalows never sought dominion over the topside.  Now the Kinkalows choose their own master.  If a human is lucky enough to be chosen by a Kinkalow, then that human must always be kind to the Kinkalow.  Kinkalows can no longer look into our hearts to see if we are good because they have found that all humans hold evil within them.  the only way a human can show that it is pure is by being kind to all.  But beware, mere human, if a Kinkalow were ever to be forced into servitude again then all the Kinkalows would disappear in a puff of dust and our world would be ravaged by corrupted luck, just as it was all those years ago. 

Author: Courtney Hoskins ~ A human lucky enough to be owned by a Kinkalow. 

A Brief Mention:

The Kinkalow dwarf cat is a deliberate out-cross (a hybrid) between the founding dwarf cat the Munchkin and an American Curl. 

The first Kinkalow cat was deliberately bred by Terri Harris of Munchkinlane Cattery, in the mid 1990s.  Terri Harris is the first elected Munchkin Breed Chair in The International Cat Association - TICA.   Kinkalows are Dwarf Cats with curled ears as expected. 

Terri Harris also came up with the Breed name "Kinkalow" because they do have kinked ears and are low to the ground.  

The first deliberately bred Kinkalow is named "Munchkinlanes Kinkalow Louie" bred by Terri Harris.

Munchkinlanes Kinkalow Louie

Thank you Terri for producing such an amazing breed of cat to share with the rest of us!  

The Not-Computer desk meets it's Match!

Tadaaah! The not computer desk experienced it's downfall today!  it met it's match in the wiley knowledge of the mysterious, illusive weekend  Dobby.  :)

It was a cloudy, windy, rainy day here at WindyHill.  Big shock there, I know.  We snuck up on the unsuspecting not computer desk quietly....we eyed it from a distance so as not to spook it.  The Dobby nodded gravely, and said.

"I think I can get this done pretty quickly,  with your help."
(No, I did not tell him about my break down in regards to the not computer desk earlier in the month ~ I didn't want to spook HIM off!)

I settled for smiling and nodding politely.

The Dobby asked me for the screws/nuts/bolts and whatevers, that came with the not computer desk.

Me: ummm, about that, Doom ate most of them.
Dobby: Of-course he did...do you have the rest?
Me: Sure!

Cam Screws

I hand him a bag of slightly chewed special screw type things..these are not regular screws..I would describe how they work, but I have no idea.  They are called "Cam Screws" and look nothing like any screw I have ever seen.  I had planned on using the "Jshoot" and regular screws myself.  I am told that the "proper name" for a "Jshoot" is a battery operated drill (or something close to that) but "Jshoot" is the sound it makes when screwing in a screw so "Jshoot" it is.  I told you I was a girly girl.


Moving on,  the Dobby nodded and headed for the not computer desk..

"Be careful."  I cautioned..."It bites"

The Dobby rolled his eyes at me and picked up the largest part of the not computer desk ~ the desk part, it's slick and...he dropped it on his toe.

"Ouch!"
" I told you it bites."

Again, with the eye rolling.

Now, the desk part is one of the portions of the not computer desk that got me so confused...as far as I could tell, the desk part is supposed to just magically hover in mid-air.  I don't have the spell for that...so I was hoping the Dobby had another plan...

Right: so we forget about the desk part for the time being.  First, we gathered all the not computer desk parts into one room.  I had the "Jshoot" handy just in case it was needed.  I was still have a hard time imagining something that doesn't need to be screwed in if it has screws....

After coaxing the not computer desk into semi-submission, the Dobby assembled the base of the not computer desk...thus alleviating the need for the desk part to magically levitate.  Thank goodness for that.   He used the Cam Screws!!  All it took was a quick twist with a regular boring screw driver (that has no fun name ~ but I'm going to call it Earl to be safe) and the screws were...well, screwed.   Hmmmm.  Weird.  It seemed sturdy enough.  Next the desk part, I helped lift it this time.  It didn't bite, it offered a few random ornery moments at best.

WAIT!  We forgot the slidy-outy part for the key board to sit on.  Dobby grandly bowed and allowed me to use the "Jshoot" and real screws to attach it...backwards!  The slidy-outy thing should slide towards you as you sit in your comfy chair.  Mine slid away from me (story of my life right)  Dobby chuckled and we unscrewed it and re-screwed it.  The "Jshoot" does this with just the press of a button.  Is that cool or what?!

<<the "Jshoot"

Moving on, next is the...top...Right:  I don't know the proper name and neither did Dobby, he thought it was the bottom at first, so no sense in asking him to name it too.  The problem with the weekend Dobby and I working on any project together, is that it is quite like the blind leading the blind.  We have to look at pictures first and usually we call the local home Depot/Lowes/Menards to ask questions.  This time, it was photos only as we didn't know the names of the parts so we could ask anything beyond..."How in the heck do we assemble this not computer desk?"  I was afraid they would hang up.  Hate to waste time like that.

Okay, we placed the top onto the desk portion.  Great.  No Cam screws left and we needed some: TADAA!!   "Jshoot" and I to the rescue!

*Note:*  The screws that you choose when you are screwing the top to the desk portion should be shorter than the two pieces of wood put together are..

*Note*  If you have chosen a screw that is too long and it goes through the other side threatening the cats eyeballs and anything else with in scratching distance ask your weekend Dobby to get bolt cutters and cut off the excess.  When he can not find that, have him use anything else that is scissor-like and encourage him by saying, "just squeeze the handles really  hard it will work!"  When the rest of the screw goes pinging around the room, duck, and ...make sure you find it before the Mastiff does or he will be "screwed" (oh come on, that was worth a snicker)

Hippie Bandaid for computer desk!

*Note* Cover the rest of the screw that is still sticking out with something with padding so that the screw can not poke through it.  Such as a cotton ball, when you can't find a cotton ball, use a feminine panty liner and cover with festive duck tape.



*Note* When your young son asks you about it, tell him it's a hippy bandaid for the computer desk and refuse to answer anymore questions about it.  Ignore him when he smirks at you like you are an idiot.

*Note* Plywood, or whatever this pressed together wood type stuff is cracks when you get a real screw into it and it's too close to the edge of the board.  Hence the need for the Mastiff not to eat the cam screws.

*Note* Cam screws are not miracle workers and can not withstand the pressure when you try to move the Computer desk to where you actually want it.

*Note*  Put the computer desk together where you want it to be stationed...not 5 feet away from that spot...the Cam screws will protest.

Yes, okay you caught me.  I insisted against Dobby's protests that we had to move the computer desk to the office corner of my multi-purpose room.  (Right now it's the everything room, but it sounds oh-so-much classier to say Multi-purpose room)

We moved it with no incidents...

Me:  I want it just a liiiittle closer to the wall...just a tiny bit.
Dobby:  That's pretty risky, but we can try.

Try we did...Crrrraaack

Both of us:  DAMN IT!

Out comes the "Jshoot" and real screws.  I'm not moving it again.

The moral of the story:

From this...

To This..(note the rare photo of house Dobby in the background)

Oh my Gosh!!  The not computer desk is ...a computer desk!!  I can't even believe it is so!! I am so lucky!  I am so proud!  I am so happy!  I am typing on it RIGHT now!  Doesn't it look so much typy-er when I am typing on the real computer desk?!  I feel so efficient now.

To this! My Office Area!

I feel that I must make honorable mention of my former computer desk for all of it's months of hard service.  I was very grateful for it when I moved it to WindyHill, because prior to that, it was myself, the floor and a bucket with the monitor on top of it and the keyboard on my knees!  I'm NOT making that up:)

Former Computer Desk in all it's Glory!

Now, I must bid you Adieu, as I think I have to move my fertility frog out of the Window, it's confusing the suicidal Cardinal.   

The Fertility Frog, The Suicidal Cardinal, The Good Luck Turtle, The Lucky Elephant, The Stretchy Cat, and The Skunks Tail...

The tittle sounds like a childrens book doesn't it ~ barring the suicidal Cardinal of-course.

Let me introduce you to the gang..

First the Fertility Frog and how he got his name.  My friend A--- is Latina, and she gets pregnant approximately once a year due to someone looking at her funny from across the room.  It's a proven fact that if you are Latina you can get pregnant that way.  Anyway, she was kind enough to rent WindyHill for a few months and live here.  She calls me up one day and tells me there is a tree frog in the house.  I said well, get it out of the house, it's probably a Fertility frog and it's about that time of year for you isn't it?  She hastily agreed and tried to catch said tree frog that was hanging out on the wall in the multi-purpose room.  Turns out that they climb fast.  She was worried that it would suction to the ceiling above her bed and drop on her in the middle of the night for revenge.  I thought she might be right.  After several unsuccessful attempts at finding a suitable stool to stand upon to capture said tree frog she gave up.   Thus, the Fertility Frog lived on in the house.  I found her quite often in the bathroom above the shower  head.  One day she (the fertility frog..not A---) was just gone.  It was a sad day on WindyHill.  I also asked A---  if she were pregnant.  18 pregnancy tests later, she assured me that she was not...at least probably not.

Well, as it happens, myself and the borrowed House Dobby were outside of the house ~ he was aggressively chopping the heads off of innocent weeds that were threatening to take over the entire planet if something were not done about them....and I was cheering him on.  "Kill! kill! kill!"  He halted suddenly in chopping work.
Me:  What's wrong...there are more weeds, they are  headed right for us!
Him: I think you might want to see this.
(oh gee whiz, did he kill a bunny or something?)
He opens his hands to reveal what I have affectionately named the Fertility Frog... we think that when the original fertility frog went missing, she arranged to come back as this figurine so that she can continue to Bless our home with Fertility for so long as we shall live here...or if we ever live here for real:)

Fertility Frog Side

Fertility Frog Front...see how she holds her tummy?! Fertility!

 
I like her.  She is in my multi-purpose room being fertile. I have deemed her to be for the cats, not myself.

Next, the suicidal Cardinal.  You see, when I purchased this Godforsaken Monstrosity,   lovely home, all of the windows were broken out.  I do mean all of them.  The house had sat empty for three years, before I was duped into it, I lucked out and got it!  This led to much wildlife taking up residence here.  Apparently, some of the wild life is not happy, nor easily convinced that it can no longer reside within these walls.  This leads us to the Suicidal Cardinal, I call him "Sucidey."  Not very original to be sure, but accurate.  As I was laying in my bed in the early morning here on WindyHill, I kept hearing this mysterious clink, clink, clink outside my window in the multi-purpose room.... I immediately sprang into action!  "Doom! Doom! Doom!" I called ~ this has double effect you see, first of all it awakens my Mastiff, second, whoever was surely trying to break into my window would hear me hollering Doom! and presume a psycho squatter is dwelling here and sneak away leaving me in peace.

Dragonart.com 

 The dog ambled to my side, sniffed my face and sat down.  This is Doomish for "food?"  I whisper to him that someone is out there and he needs to be prepared to defend the Estate!  He settled further back on his haunches looking at me quizzically  ~ this is Dooomish for ..."food?"  Oddly, after my yelling, there is no more clinking, I presume the alleged serial killer has gone away.  We all know that serial killers stalk us in the early morning hours in broad daylight right?  About ten mintues later, clink, clink, clink! OH MY GOSH! He's back!  "DOOM!"  I yell...the dog raises and eyebrow at me and sighs.  It did bring my Lab Great Dane mix (Karma) over to me with much tail wagging...this is "Karmaese" for "love?"  SIGH.  I am awake now for sure.  I very carefully peak out the curtains trying not to move them much...and I see....nothing.  hmmm.  I decide to start getting things done around here.  First to clean the dusty floors.  I'm sweeping away when I hear...clink, clink, clink...Doom rolled over on his back and snored loudly to show me that he had no intention of helping me avert this great impeding danger to our very lives.  Karma wagged her tail..thump, thump, thump on the floor.  clink, clink, clink on the window.
(great now they are communicating)  It probably means Kill us now in ax-murderer Morse code.  Holding my breath, and saying many prayers, I peak out the window again ~ without shouting "Doom" first.  I see a bright red cardinal repeatedly throwing himself against my window.  aaaah, I see, he used to live here.  I observed him for quite some time peering out of the crack in the curtains.  It seems his wife is in the nearby bush squawking up a storm, fluffing her feathers and so on, he would throw himself into the window, fall to the ground, flap over to her, she would peck at him and squawk and he would do it again.  He does this all day long periodically throughout the day, no matter the season.  If a plant or figurine (say a fertility frog for instance) is on the window sill he redoubles his efforts.  If a cat (say Queen Elsa) is on the window sill, he is strangely absent.

likeness of suicidey.

Obviously, I can't get a photo of the real bird, if he sees movement, he flutters away ~ much to his wife's disappointment I  might add.

Next, we have  our Good Luck Turtle:  My son and I were walking around in the back pasture of the property procrastinating doing real work.  My son loves to throw things, therefore, he would periodically stoop down, pick up a rock and throw it in front of us.  He claims it was to frighten away snakes in the grass. I claim it was an excuse to throw things, but at least he is not throwing it towards the house.  Upon one of his stoopings, he discovered the Good Luck Turtle.  I know it's a good luck turtle because the discussing of it, and the washing of it and the placing of it upon the counter took up at least 3 hours of our time ~ thereby making it too late for us to do anything else that day.  Besides, the Chineese say turtles are good luck and so do some Indian tribes.  So, it's my good luck turtle.

Good Luck Turtle

Good Luck Turtle trying to escape the photographing session.

Next, we have The Lucky Elephant.  You see, one day I am going to win the Publishers Clearing House $5000.00 a week for life (a purchase is not necessary to win) I have been clicking on their emails every day for 4 years now.  I'm just certain that each day brings me closer to winning.  I have never, ever ordered anything from them.  Not even one time.  (no purchase is necessary to win.)  In the back of my mind, I wondered if a purchase was necessary to win.  I have to click through about 5 pages of useless stuff I do not want to get to the "your entry is confirmed" page...after which they send me to another page with "an exciting offer, I'm sure to love."  usually it's how to save on car insurance or panty  hose that never get runs in them.  Then one final click and I get "another chance to win!"  I have promised myself that when I get that $5000.00 a week for life, I shall first give some to God as a huge thank you.  Then, I shall purchase something from their little "order now" form. .  Well, it was nagging me in the back of my mind...what if a purchase IS necessary.  I bet there are little old women going broke all over the country purchasing useless crap they don't need and re-gifting it to the grandchildren and thereby increasing  their chances of winning the $5000.00 a week for life!!  Well I can't have that!  I can't have miss Mabel down the road who is going to die soon anyway and leave all those millions to her spoiled grandkids who's homes are now filled with useless crap horning in on my chances of winning!!  So...I did it, I purchased something.  For only  $4.95 a  month for 6 months, I can have my very own, hand carved Jade Elephant.   It was made in Nyrobi by a starving Pygmy, I am feeding the hungry, I am helping a nation, I am a genuine Jade owner!  The Chineese say Jade and Elephants are lucky...so he is my $5000.00 dollar a week for life Elephant.  We call him "Whitey" ~ (insert the white elephant in the room reference of your choice here)

PCH Good Luck Elephant!

I am buying into the hype.  I rub his  head for luck daily.

Next Stretchy Cat:  Michael found stretchy cat in my basement and brought it upstairs to me proudly pronouncing it perfect for a crazy cat lady!  It looks like it should be an incense burner, which would make it useful to me, as I do love the smell of patchouli.  But no, it appears to be a salt or pepper shaker.  Ewww, I refuse to "wash it and use it." as Michael suggested for salt or pepper ~ besides what good is one stretchy cat salt or pepper shaker without it's mate?   I suspect that this one is the Pepper shaker because he is black, so he is a boy.  After much research online (done when I should be applying for jobs) I have discovered that salt and pepper cat shakers are ubiquitous.  However, I have not found a single one that looks like stretchy cat.  The poor thing is mateless.  He has asked me to put a S/B/S/C (single black stretchy cat) add up for him, and I have promised to do so as soon as time allows.   Meanwhile, has has made friends with the other figurines upon the shelf and is doing well for himself.  He has no purpose here other than to sit around and be stretchy and start conversations that go like this:  "Hey, cool, an incense burner, do you have some patchouli to light?"  Or "Why do you only have the pepper shaker?" Or "Where is the rest of the set?'  and of-course my favorite. "Why do you have this?  I thought you hated nick-nacks, what-nots and magilicutties."
Me:  I do.

Stretchy Cat...stretching

Stretchy Cat face

This nick-nack can stay for awhile though, I am thinking about putting him on the window sill to see what suicidey does about that one!

Finally, we have the skunk tail.  We went to an Indian Celebration (Feather not dot) that happens locally every year.  I love it there!  The wonderful smells of the oh-so -delicious food, the drums drumming, the bagpipes playing, the horses, the crowds, the venders.  LOVE!  Okay, so I promise my son he can try some of the unique food ~ being the great critic of food that he is.  He tried, buffalo burgers and apple dumplings...mmmmh.   Ha, you thought I was going to say skunk didn't you?  Okay, so we come across a "pelt" vendor.  We are to presume that this young handsome American Indian has captured and eaten these animals and then skinned and tanned their hides for trade.  While I was drooling over the American Indian selling his wares (the pelts) my son was choosing a pelt.  He chose the skunk tail for it's uniqueness.  He carried it around for the rest of the day.  We hung it from my rearview mirror at first, but took it down because it looked like we had scalped someone.  Glad it wasn't hanging in the car when the police officer pulled me over with the dogs.  It may have proved to be too much even for the most seasoned of officers.   Now it hangs in the....you guessed it...the multi-purpose room.  We have to hang it up high though, as Doom is just waiting for the chance to eat it, the cats really, really want to play with it and if it's on the floor I think it's the least weasel and run and scream!

Looks like the whole skunk right?  Nope just the tail, but we can have fun  doing a little puppet show with him:)

So there you have it, our lucky bunch!

The lucky Four!

Stretchy Cat declined to be in the last photo due to the fact that he and the skunk tail are both black and long and they blend into each other and it just looks like a weird black mass sitting behind the rest of the figures...that and stretchy cat was in the kitchen on the shelf and that was too far to walk:)

OH! An Honorable Mention must be made of the Happy Rooster that Michael found in the barn ~ that was doubling as a chicken hatchery...or whatever they are called.  It's a ceramic Rooster Figurine, and he proudly brought it to me asking me if I would like to see his...Rooster.  He keeps it in his bedroom on the night stand and calls it his night rooster... 

The REAL story By ELSA Queen Cat of Windy Hill

Oh no, no, do NOT listen to Humom about her little adventure over there at WindyHill while I ~ Elsa, Queen of the cats here at Weedy Flats starved almost to the point of extinction! And in MY condition!  Oh! The audacity of Humom to do this to me.  Let me tell you what really  happened the day Argent went home!!

My water was luke warm at best, and disgusting Mooshi slobbered all in it, and he puts his furr into the water!!  Oh Bleck!  To think that I ~ Queen Elsa have to suffer from hairball attacks and it's not even my hair!  Umph!  Yucky Mooshi!

I suffered, I suffered greatly I tell you, and the litter boxes.  Oh my, the condition of the litter boxes just made me weep.  In fact, I was forced to be so bold as to add to the poopies at the end of the hallway in order to illustrate my utter disgust at humoms total irresponsibility of being off galevanting all night long!  

Oh ~ and to top it off, McKenna has her babies now, and she was squalling all night complaining about no noms for the mama who just gave birth,  and no humom, and then the kittens crying all night long, and on an on about how she needed special treatment and her warm KMR drink before bed!  Are you kidding me?!  I am the Queen here, not Miss McKenna...KMR drink indeed.  Pfft.


Mooshi went around yowling about missing humom and wanting his tomato treats (I told he is a vegetarian the weirdo!) When Mooshi yowls he sounds like a baby pterodactyl and I was subjected to listening to this all night long.  UGH!  

All the bedroom doors were closed, so I had to sleep on the lumpy, no cover having, no down pillow having, dog slobbered on couch!  Why, it's as if I were just a common house cat or something!  Not to mention the fact that Mooshi insisted on cuddling right up next to me, it will keep us warmer he says, I have thick fur to keep you snugly with he says...I ended up sneezing all night while he snored away.  He twitches in his sleep you know...he says he chasing tomatos in the great tomato field, evidently the ripest, juiciest tomato of all gives all good vegetarian cats the best tomato juice ever in a crystal gobblet if you can catch him.  Mooshi hasn't caught the Great tomato yet.  It's a quest of his.  I just wanted humom and some fresh food!  All good  humoms know that half a bowl of cat food is like no cat food at all, it's not fresh, I can't eat that.  I am not going to be raising scavenger kittens here!
So finally, finally,  humom gets home.  At long, long last.  She brought the idiots with her and she smelled like all manner of dog and of all things..potato chips and bread.  Whatever, while she was out enjoying her chip fest, I was suffering at length.  I told her all about it too.  Very loudly.  

Do yo know what she said?  She said "I know Elsa, I love you too kitty, I missed you too, I will get you some extra food in just a moment.  Let me wash up."

Wash up!  Is she joking?  It's cat food, you pour it from a bag, how risky is that really?  Moreover, I was NOT saying I love you, I was telling her how awful it was of her to leave me in this horrendous state! I rubbed against her legs hoping she would feel the rib bones that surely are protruding right this moment due to the torturous starvation she chose to put me through.

She ruffled my fur and set some noms down in front of me and then went on about her merry way!  What an utter shock!  I did not sit on her lap and purr for her for at least 2 hours just so she knew the full extent of my disdain.

Please oh loyal Queen Elsa followers, please do not be duped by her tales of woe when she is leaving me here left to my own devices in Weedy Flats whilst she gives not a care for my  welfare, as was obvious by the state of my un-fresh food when she finally deemed it unnecessary to make an appearance here to tend to me...her ever loving and purrful fur baby...Elsa..the Queen. 

The Day Argent Went Home

This post could have about 5 different titles really...like The day I almost quite smoking/The day we almost froze in the rain/ The death of a tire/ The saga of the Starving Cats/ Why I have the Best Boss ever/How to: survive on potato chips and bread/No coffee and a headache ...well this list could go on...and it may:)

It all started out innocently enough.  Myself and Argents owner planned to meet up with each other and evaluate his progress.  This calls for working with him and his owner.  His owner also brought a lovely pony to be quickly evaluated as well.

The original plan was to go on a quick trail ride, as it covers several evaluation points on several horses at once and it really gives all parties an opportunity to get a good idea of what they are looking at and the work involved (or not)

Mind you, these plans were laid on a lovely day of about 65 degrees, sun was shining, birds were singing we even decided to have the kids along. (human kids)

The day plans were made...

Cue the ever present storm cloud and the arctic blast of cold wind on Windy Hill.  Drizzling rain, wet ponies, shivering child and two goofy ladies that want to play with the ponies...(That would be myself and Argents owner)  At some point I'm each of us separately questioned our own sanity and yet...we kept going...why?  Because it's FUN!

How it felt the day we actually did this!

In dealing with animals you must be ever ready to change plans/clothes/goals/shoes/tack and animals:)  So, change of plans, quick evaluation of pony and super fun ~ albeit wet and cold ~ lesson with child on pony.  So far so good.  Pony and child took it all in stride.

Next for Argent, our ever full of personality Dales Pony.  From the very moment I took him out of the pasture his every movement told me he was in a mood today.  (Oh Geez)  But I was sooo looking forward to showing him off, I had been so proud of him (and myself) the last time we had worked together, he was forward moving, ears  perked, eyes shining, smile on his face, only one or two tricks to remind me that he liked to play and then pleasure pony at his finest!

NOT SO TODAY!  Now, he started off agreeably enough, a few little quirks here and there, I wanted him to raise the withers a bit and bend around the leg more, maybe a touch softer to the bit...but everyone needs to warm up right?  So, he was a little stiff...he was agreeable enough and he worked along as asked.  That was with his owner...now I got on him in order to to get him to bend a little more and be a bit softer and more "liquid"

Naturally, this is when Argent decides he is finished working for the day.  If ever you have worked with a Draft breed that has said "I am finished for the day" , you know first hand how long it can take to convince them otherwise.  The worst part is, he had NEVER exhibited this behavior to me before.  A spook, a snort, a trick here or there, but never "All four brakes and you can't make me go" !!   I felt like Squidward on the spongebob episode where Squidward was trying to get the rock to drive....of course the spongebob reference could have come from the mind numbing cold that Argent apparently didn't mind a bit!

NOT moving! 

Well, as you know, we had to follow through.  So, I am on this very stubborn boy for quite some time *note it was the Parelli method that won out and finally got him going.  I sheepishly admit, I was proud of him and it made me happy that he did it.  

We all piled into the house for some much needed heat with our hair dripping, hands freezing, toes aching and numb noses...hey ~ all in a day right?  This is everyday stuff for me, so no biggie.  I did feel incredibly bad for the children.  You know kids, you tell them to go inside and stay warm, and they want to stay outside and point and laugh  (ahem) I  mean, watch the adults.

Now back outside to gather all of Argents belongings...okay...all seems to be going well, so  being the wimp that I am, I venture back inside the house.  I know, I know that was totally cruel.  I should have helped load.   In my defense, both the pony and Argent load very quickly and easily.

Argent and Cisco load very easily

Once inside my son and I get our belongings gathered for our trek back to the other place.  I have  kittens to tend to, Cats to tend to, other horses to tend to, a warm dinner to make...yep..time to go.  I get in the car and the phone rings... It's Argents owner...

They are stuck at the end of my driveway.  Well, it is muddy, and the truck and trailer are unfamiliar to Argents owner.  No problem, I agree to go down and hold horses while she gets un-stuck.  getting unstuck only took a few moments...then came the part where she was trying to realign everything and back out with out the horses.  Mind you she made it all the way down my very long driveway.  During the realigning process her truck tire hits the edge of the cow grate...POW.  Yep, tire blew!

No problem, they decide to call a tow truck.

tow truck is called....

Well, it turns out that NO tow truck company anywhere has some special part needed to take a tire off.  Or something like that.  Either way, there was noone coming to save them on this cold, rainy and now dark night.   I offer again for them to come up to the house and share some hot homemade soup with us.  The offer was politely declined...I'm pretty sure that my fate is sealed here.  They will probably never come back again.  Meanwhile, Argent and Cisco are hanging in the round pen.

4 HOURS later, they end up going to a hotel nearby.  If anything CAN be considered nearby to my house.  I'm way, way out in the country.   This has to be the most expensive horse training EVER! I stress to myself.   Gee Whiz, and they are such nice people too.  

Meanwhile, my son and I are effectively trapped here on WindyHill for the night.  Why?  Well, the truck and trailer are at the end of my driveway...stuck...maybe permanently from the looks of it.   I can't go around, as the fields are muddy and then I will also be stuck!

I try to call my boss in advance to let her know I may be late.  I only work ONE day a week IF I'm called in and I am extremely grateful for that one day when I get it.  I want my boss to like me and call me again. No answer of-course.

Tomorrow is another day, all is well.  

SO~ it's tomorrow, I tried calling my boss again.  No answer.  This means, I will be calling after I am already supposed to be there.  Strike ONE.  *stress*  Plus, by now I'm sure Argents owner has decided my driveway is cursed and will probably have both of her horses Blessed when she gets home.  *stress*

picture credit: http://www.davegranlund.com 

This leads to our next minor problem.  All we have in the house is 1/2 a bag of chips.  B---and I argue over those.  He wins.  I shuffle in to get coffee.  We are OUT Of coffee.  Oh Lord no coffee?!  How will I survive?!  My son snickers at me while he contentedly eats chips and drinks water.   Fine, I have water too.  Yummy.  

*stress* Argents owner is probably calling all her friends right now expanding on the dangers of using country trainers.  *stress* My boss finally answers the phone, and even to my ears it sounds like I am lying...

Boss:  You are stuck at your house because there is a trailer at the end of your driveway?  Really?  Can't you just ...drive around?  

Me:  I can't drive in the farmers fields, I'll get stuck too.

Boss: well, hurry up, do you think you will be here soon?

Me:  Oh yes, I'm sure it won't take anytime.

STRIKE TWO!

*stress* I hope Argents owner and her kids got to eat...what if they are starving?  Hope they were comfortable.  Wish I could offer to pay for the cab ride/hotel/tow truck/help.  Oh sure, I could offer but they don't take fake fairy dust and smiles any more at most establisments.  

In my no coffee having mind, and stress induced state this all somehow became Michaels fault.  If HE were here, he would have had that truck/trailer unstuck a long time ago, I would be at work and everyone else would be home and happy and warm for goodness sakes!  But nooo, he wants to play house with the Fairy Princess and leave me trapped here forever..forever...forever...(yes it really echoed like that:)  

I had purchased my very first Electronic Cigarette the day before.  I smoked (outside the house of course) the very last real cigarette the night before.  I LOVE my electronic cigarette.  I'm pretty sure I would have ridden a horse to the store to buy cigarettes (and coffee while I was at it) if I hadn't had it.  I am officially hooked on these and soo soo happy I tried them.  

My boss calls : Are you coming in?

Me: yes, yes, I am I sware...they are doing things down there now, I'm sure it won't be anytime.  

Boss:  mmmh hmmm, well hurry as fast as you can....can't they call a tow truck or something?  

Me: No tow companies have a part that's needed for something about a tire.

Boss: what?

Me: I don't know,  but they are doing things it shouldn't be much longer.

Boss..."yeah, okay, see you soon then"

STRIKE THREE!

My undying gratitude to my Boss for not firing me on the spot!!  I was 3 hours late by this time!!  3 hours?!  Oh my gosh can you imagine?  

Soon enough I get the call that all is well and we can all get out of there.  Argents owner had called back up reinforcements and once they arrived, everything went smoothly and they were able to get out with no problems.  *stress* Argents owner probably really hates me now, wonder how much it cost for the reinforcements to drive all the way here from a state away!!  AAAAAH  

Quickly, I gather everything and leave...FIRST I have to go to the gas station as I was running on empty.  Next, we need FOOD.  Third, my electronic cigarette has run out of...vapor or whatever it is...

Finally, to my place of work. Now, I have to break it to my boss that I have two huge dogs with me.  STRIKE FOUR!  (who in the heck gets four strikes...ever?!)  I say a quick prayer and tell her about the dogs.  This woman has the patience of a Saint and barely missed a beat before telling me where to stuff the dogs....(in crates in the crate room of course, there is plenty of space that particular day for big dogs)  I wanted to bow and grovel to her, but she just wanted me to hurry up and get to work, no time for groveling.  On Bosses day I 'm going to steal..no ...pick...no..buy her flowers and candy!  I am SO lucky.  

    

In the end Argents owner, her family and her truck and trailer, make is safely back home and all is well.  She doesn't have an never ending grudge against my home on WindyHill or it's driveway, and has even agreed to come back when she needs more training with her horses.  We will make arrangements in advance for truck and trailer turn around:)