BlackStones Progress...

Blackstone has proven to be quite the astute pupil.  I am enjoying him very much.  We have progressed from not being able to "catch" him at all to him greeting me at the gate, to being able to brush him all over,  to picking up all four feet, leading, giving to pressure, lunging, backing up, coming forward, disengaging the hip,  and putting on the saddle pad, with a little bit of desensitizing thrown in for good measure.  We have a long way to go, but we sure are proud of him so far.

BlackStone Lunging

He has not been too pushy or too spooky to over come his fears, and he really loves to please.  He actively looks for rewards and responds to them with great relish.

As time goes on, we will be working on the more difficult stuff, so stay tuned!

Saddle pad with Saddle

Standing quietly with lead over withers while saddle is put on

BlackStone gets an A+ for standing while I put the saddle on for the first time!  I love the lead over the withers as a stand still quietly cue for the horses.  It makes life sooo much easier.  I did not cinch the saddle this day, as it was his first time ever having it on his back.  Cinching will come soon:)

Today, after this session, I took his halter off in the pasture....I don't like them with halters on in the pasture in the first place, however for the purpose of ease I have left it on him thus far.  Today, he is rewarded with having no halter and tomorrow, I (hopefully) shall be rewarded with him coming to me willingly and dropping his head to be haltered. ! 

Box to house, house to home!

dining room table! In the dining Room!!

Oh yeah, that's right! I have a dining room table! uh uh uh uh!  Love it!  Alright, so I had to do some very creative thinking to come up with a plan to get all the furniture in my house moved to the correct locations of the house as opposed to piled haphazardly into just two rooms.

After much thought, much prayer and some gentle coaxing from a friend.  I made a decision, I would ask (beg) for help.

Cue the semi-local Church group to loan me my own House Dobby and Cohort.  This was a pretty big step for me, as I do not like strangers in my house, much less strangers knowing where I live.

The living room

I seriously considered putting a blind fold on the Dobby's cohort.  I reconsidered, when I realized he might take exception to that.  I  had to settle for taking all back roads with many turns to get here....don't think I didn't notice him making mental notes of the land marks though.  On the other hand, I was kind enough to leave the Mastiff and the Great Dane/Lab Cross at Weedy Flats.  I suppose even Church going Cohorts want to keep their limbs.  Besides, he needed those for the work that lay ahead.   We only had two hours to get everything done, and honestly, I presumed that we would get the heavy stuff moved at best.


Well, I forgot that I was working with Super Dobby and Cohort!  They got everything put where it belonged, the bed assembled, the table assembled, the lazy boy chair assembled, put the boxes in the rooms where they were marked to go, arranged the furniture in the living room (after we found the living room furniture) and  had time for a cup of coffee to boot!

Dobby and Cohort

I was just flabbergasted!  I have never seen two men work so quickly and so efficiently.   I was just beside myself with joy!  I have a home!  A real home!  I can not thank these two enough for helping me like this.

It has made such a huge difference in my out look at life and at my future.  I feel at peace here on Windy Hill today, and I have Dobby and Cohort to thank for it.

I'm really hoping that the next time they decide to help (I have a list) that I will at least have the oven hooked up so that I can feed them a real meal.  If not, I do have a crock pot and I am not afraid to use it!

Dining room filled to top

Dining Room almost finished!!

TADAAAA !

Oh and P.S. ...don't you love the way I have the word "we" sprinkled through out this little story as if I had anything more to do with this lovely turn of events beyond asking for help?  I literally did nothing
beyond saying things like "Oh my gosh, this is so wonderful!" and "I think 'we' should put the couch over there."

God is Good!

The Arrival of BlackStone ~ new Training Horse.

Meet BlackStone: Blackstone is my new Dales Pony in training.  He is owned by the same person that owned Argent.  See, all you doubting Nelly's out there, I told you that she would come back. (whew)

BlackStone Dales Pony in training

BlackStone is four years old, and has not been worked with much.  It all started on a dark, drizzly, windy, cold night here at Windy Hill...as if we ever have any other kind of weather here.

What preceded the event was many hours of my son saying "Is her son coming with her?  He is really nice, and he is a good boy too!  Are they  here yet?  When are they going to be here?"

Finally, we got the phone call that BlackStone and company had arrived.  I glanced at my son, he was sleeping soundly...it was a school night...I hate to wake him up so late on a school night...after an internal debate, I let him sleep.

In deference to the cursed and dangerous driveway, Blackstones owner and I mututally agreed that it would be best  (and safest) to meet at the end of the driveway.  This meant it was necessary for me to walk down said lonely, long, dark, dreary driveway by myself, alone, with no one else...hmmm.  That seemed silly, so I left the Mastiff with my son and took the Dane Lab cross ~ I wasn't sure how the Mastiff would greet people in the dark, even if I did tell him it was okay.  I knew that that Kharma would listen to me when I said "It's okay, they are friendly" and not eat anyone.  Besides, I wanted my son to have the Mastiff (Doom) with him while he snoozed away.  I put Doom on "guard" before I left the house, and Kharma and I traversed the dark, lonely driveway.  Read as; Kharma barked her fool head off and raced ahead of me to ward off all impending danger of small children, horses and fancy standard poodle with a cute show groom.   I was left to fumble my way down the driveway; alone.  At least the Mastiff would have stayed right at my side.  Sigh.

Well, I made it to the end of the driveway with out being attacked by coyotes, wild banshees, or other creepy wildlife lurking in the fields on either side of me.

BlackStone Handsome boy

I finally meet BlackStone, a simply lovely coal black example of the Dales Pony with a cute baby doll head, a willing attitude and just enough snort and blow to tell me that he will be super fun to train.  We led him up the driveway with no incidents despite my dog leaping for joy around his legs and pestering poor Poodle to no end.  

Next day, *B_______ noted with interest that Blackstone had arrived and I was treated to all manner of dirty looks, and accusations of not wanting him to ever do anything fun!  I apologized several times.  He seemed mollified in the end, realizing that sleep is very important before school.  Glad the crisis was averted!

Now, I must go, I hear a Dales pony wanting to learn!

Putting the Cart before the Donkey..er Pony...

As some of you know, I very much wanted a Donkey and Cart.  I blame Argent!  I love a long ears no matter what size or shape, and most especially a long ears of the Donkey variety.   My son *B____ used to call Mules and Donkeys "Bunny horses."  when he was very little, due to the long ears.  :)

http://www.museum.oldpicturepostcard.co.uk/donkey-cart.htm

I casually mentioned that I wanted a Donkey and Cart while on the phone with Michael, as we were on the phone, I was browsing Craigs list for said Donkey and Cart.  I stumbled across a Pony and Cart...hmm, close...

Michael said to call them.  Now, Michael knows me very well, he is aware of my hideous horse/pony/donkey addictions.  He certainly knows better than to be an enabler by saying things like "Call them."  but he did it anyway.  Shame on you Michael!  Personally, I think he gets a kick out of hearing me squeal like a little girl when I am excited.  Then again, it was late and he had other things (like sleep and Fairy Princesses) on his mind when he said to call them.

Call them I did.  Somehow by the magic of all that is in the Universe, Michael found time to go look at the pony and cart, we took my son.  We had a nice trip, we saw the little black pony that is "really difficult to catch" and the man hooked him up to the cart for us.  We took a little trip in the pony and cart.  I let Michael drive.

He was hooked.  We have a pony and cart!

Our Pony and Cart

*B_____ and I drove pony and cart all the way to the small local store (about 3 miles away.)  We had the best time ever!  Big burly men in pick up trucks would stop, roll down their windows and say "Man, oh man, that's the coolest thing I have ever seen."  Business men would wave and smile and say "You don't see that every day."  We met our darling neighbors on the way and they they chatted to us like we had known each other for years.  Little children rode by on their bicycles and waved and several wanted to pat the pony and asked where we were going.  One little girl was so excited that she jumped up and down with her hands clasped in front of her chest yelling "Oh Mommy! Mommy!  It's a pony! A real pony!  It's right here in the street! Oh Mommy! Come and look Mommy!"

We saw the old Church that is closed for repairs up close and it's even more awesome up close like that, we saw squirrels and thanked God when the barking dogs were behind a fence.  Pony was not phased by any of it.  The dogs, squealing little girls, big pick ups, combines in the fields, other horses in nearby pastures prancing wildly, and calling out to us...none of this changed pony's little trotting gate or gave him pause in any way.  He had a grand time.  *B____ even drove for a spell.

"Pony"

Upon arriving to the store, I discovered that when I reached into my pocket for the phone, I had also pulled out my $10.00 bill and lost it somewhere along the way.  Ah well, perhaps we will find it one day.  Luckily I had other money in my other pocket... (It's a habit I have, I'm like a squirrel, I stash money in all manner of pockets and cubbies and whatnots: that way I always have a few dollars even when I think I'm out of money)  Besides, it wouldn't be a certified Windy Hill adventure without some sort of mishap now would it?

Having a pony and cart leads to all sorts of other things that I didn't necessarily think of when I was on my little Pony and Cart rainbow ride.  Things like myself building a stall in the barn for the precious little guy to stay in.  The fences are built so high up that he would walk right under them, he can't live in the round pen forever..not with a training horse coming and I need the round pen!

This calls for myself and my son (who happens to be the son of a great carpenter) <<<<that is important information.   As we all know I am a girly girl, I don't know the first thing about building a stall.

My dream stall...looks mysteriously familiar...hmmm

So, here are some notes.

• Lumber needs room to ride in your Auto.  A cute hybrid will not accommodate real lumber. 
• Stalls need latches, hinges, screws, staples and more wood.  

Hmm, I asked my carpenters son ...son...what he thought.  After thoughtfully looking at our choices, and chastising me just one more time for not bringing the pick up truck like a normal person, he chose some materials and off we went. 

Now, for the stall building portion of this little venture, my son was not home, this meant I had to figure it out for myself.  Pony watched anxiously from the corner of the barn.   Somewhere in my head, I do know that you should make the door/walls etc. on the floor and then put them up.  For the life of me, I couldn't see how you could get things positioned and nailed and looking like a stall like that.  So, I went about it all wrong  and put it up as I went.  As I went along,  I was getting the picture of how to do all of this on the floor first.  Too late!  Things were nailed and hinged and screwed up already.  Why staples?  I knew you would ask.  I'm using a screen type material for the door.  He is only a small pony and wont be pushy, he just needs a block is all, and the size of lumber I would have needed would not fit in the accursed hybrid.   The mesh screen is stapled to the lumber.  

I got it done.  Pony has a stall.

Pony got out of the stall two days later by going under the mesh just as my son predicted would happen.  Never doubt a carpenters son!    

Took me 20 minutes to capture very difficult to catch pony.  He is young, he wants to run and play.  I let him play in the round pen while I figured out how to fix the stall.  I located some longer wood that was left over from shipping crates.  Wish I had thought of it earlier.  Fixed the stall.

I am so happy and grateful for the many fun hours behind the reins that Pony is sure to provide my son and I  as we trot along in our cart behind our steady little pony.  His official name here at Windy Hill is indeed pony.  The man we purchased him from called him about 15 different things (some of them not so flattering)  in as many minutes, so I don't believe pony is offended by the simple name "Pony."  As an aside, yes, I am aware that "Pony" is actually a miniature horse by breed, but we are going to continue to call him Pony and I will continue to talk about my Pony and Cart even though, he is really a "mini."

Haunted House on Windy Hill???

I have been hesitant to mention the spooky goings ons here at Windy Hill, as I have placed a huge ban on all things spooky in this location.  I have had enough spooky in my life and do not look forward to anymore at all.  Thank you!

However, in deference to Halloween, I will in fact let you in on a few choice tid bits that did cause the hair on my arms to raise a little bit.

http://www.hauntedstudio.com/hauntedhill.htm

While sitting at my computer typing away, I hear crash! Bang! bang!  Coming from the kitchen...I pear around the computer and see both dogs looking, with ears perked in the direction of the kitchen.  Neither of them seemed particularly anxious to go investigate though.

"Some guard dogs you two are."  I say, and then begin typing again.

Crash!  BANG! then the creepiest sound of all ...something rolling across the floor.  Kharma is up, hair on her back standing striaght on end, Doom is growling low in his throat, neither of them are investigating!  What is going on?!  These two dogs go racing into to the other room on High Alert with teeth bared and hair up, if my own friend steps outside and then back inside again.  We hear mystery noises when no one else is here and they do this?  What are they waiting for ~ Michael Myers to come in with an engraved invitation?!

Michael Myers

Stupid dogs.

I shoo them towards the sounds...they walk slowly towards it...I walk even more slowly behind them...just like in the movies when it the people are stupidly sneaking up on something that really can't be snuck up on..

Rolling around on the floor is a white plastic pail that had been previously sitting upon the food tote.  Hmm, that's curious, but it could have been the least weasel knocking it down.  The dogs sniff around and Kharma does this weird thing in which she looks me directly in the eye and slowwwwllly wags her tail.  (brrr, creepy, I hate it when she does that.)  I say "Kharma, stop being weird and come on. "  She snaps out of it and "comes on."  I go back to typing, with no further incidents.

Next is the radio that turns on everyday while I drop my son off at school, I come home to the radio playing softly.  If I stay home that day and do not take my son to school, the radio stays off.  It's as if it only turns on to greet me.  hmmm

http://doowackadoodles.blogspot.com/2009_10_01_archive.html

As we know, the wind around here is always atrocious, so I attribute much of the sounds to the wind.  The banging on the windows, the wind (or suicidal cardinal, depending on if it's dark or light out) The strange creaking sound, the wind blowing the loose siding...the whistling, the wind blowing through one of the many cracks along the doors, the plunking sounds above my head, the least weasel making his nightly rounds.   Doors popping open, the house is crooked as it is, of-course the door didn't shut properly last time, or the time before.  Curtains blowing with the windows closed, definitely a fault in the old window seals.  The huge rain cloud that is always over my house, well it is that time of year.

http://www.wunderground.com/wximage/FairyGodMa/7?gallery=

But  maybe, juuuust maybe, for tonight only...I might entertain some thoughts that it could be something else...and now I will be going to Weedy Flats where I know it's safe!

Moonie, my favorite Halloween cat! Forever Kittens Cattery

Napoleon Cat Mythology

Ever wonder why God created the Napoleon cats for Angels, and why those Angels no longer have Napoleon Cats?

I’m here to tell you the story…of how the Napoleon Cats came to Earth…

Napoleon Kittens of Forever Kittens Cattery

   

When God made the Angels, caring for them was such a beautiful task that he wanted to share the glowing feeling of being a protector and provider with his wards.

Credit: Mark Ivan Cole 

 First, he gazed out upon all of the good in His creation for an inspiration: two things caught His eye: Napoleon Ice Cream, and the lowly dandelion. Napoleon Ice Cream was God's favorite indulgence (humans erroneously call it Neapolitan Ice Cream) because even though each color represented a different flavor all still had the same inner essence of sweetness.  As for the dandelion, even then, most adult humans viewed dandelions as weeds; however, it was to the innocent children that God directed his gaze, and he saw that they recognized the beauty of a flower that represented the Day and Night He had created.  In the dawn of a dandelion's life it is the color of the sun, but as a dandelion dries it turns to fluff the same color as the moon. God has heard many wishes of children who count to three and blow dandelion fluffs to the wind with their heart on their lips.  So God made Napoleon Cats as light as a dandelion fluff, as light as a child's wish, so that the cats could float beside their masters the Angels. God made the Napoleons all different,  just as His ice cream but no matter how they varied, always they had a sweet and tender spirit.

credit: dandilion

"Napoleon" Ice Cream

The Angels and Napoleons lived in harmony as eras passed, each working along side one another. The Angels guarding the humans: the Napoleons waiting patiently by their masters; to comfort and love them.  But as time passed the world grew to be a cold and loveless place full of wars and lies, murder and darkness.  A child whose name has long since been forgotten was born into this world and because of this young girl ~ other humans also have been gifted with Napoleons.

Angel with Napoleon Cat

 Wandering the streets of a desolate town, tears running down her face into knotted hair unbrushed by a mother lost to cancer and a father to the war: the girl child simply started to break apart inside.  Her feet took her to a playground that had been dismantled years before, but still had enough space for a patch of grass and a smattering of weeds. She crumbled to the ground in despair; her face cushioned on her hands she opened her eyes to see a dandelion.  As a final hope she plucked it and whispered her wish with the sincerity of any prayer and blew on the count of three- her only desire: to be loved.

It was then that an Angel boy no older than her own eight years appeared before her and said, "I caught your wish as it floated up to Heaven. Even though I'm not your Guardian Angel, God said I could help you." With a smile, he whistled softly and his own Napoleon Cat trotted into the girl child's out stretched arms. Before she could thank the young Angel for such a precious gift, he vanished. The bond between Angel and Napoleon is strong; therefore, the boy angel often followed the human girl to see his friend the Napoleon   The Angel enjoying watching the love and warmth that the Napoleon Cat and the human girl shared.

Akina of Forever Kittens Cattery, Napoleon Female

 The girl grew, passed from home to home as the foster system will do, but always with the Napoleon Cat by her side, as a talisman of gentleness of spirit and the tenderness of innocence. Though the human girl still cried, her tears were washed away by the warm tongue of her friend and her arms never went without another being to hold.

After that, more Angels followed the boy Angel's example and shared their own Napoleon Cat friends to humans in need of love and comfort. So now, not only do those humans with a Napoleon have a friend who loves them heart and soul but they also have an extra Angel watching out for them.

Author: Courtney Hoskins ~ watched over by Angels and befriended by a Napoleon Cat.

Napoleon Kittens

A Brief Mention:

The first deliberately bred Napoleon Cat was bred by Joe Smith.  A Napoleon Cat is bred to be Long a Low.  Short legs, and cobby body.   They come in both long hair and short haired variety's and can be most any color.  

The First Napoleon Cat, Bred by Joe Smith

The history of the Napoleon Cat can be found here:

 Thank you Joe for producing such a lovely breed!

Kinkalonian Mythology

In Loving Memory of our Kinkalow Cat, Klienecatz Mogwai of Forever Kittens Cattery AKA "Moggie."  

"Moggie" AKA "Maguir" our Kinkalow male. RIP 

This is our account of how the Kinkalow cats took their position as "pet" here on earth. 

Mogwai ~ Kinkalow male of Forever Kittens Cattery

The Kinkalows are a species as old as the center of the Earth.  The Kinkalows wer once revered and held dominion over the center of the Earth. The center of the Earth was knows as Felix Felicis.  (The Latin words for "Luck, happy or fortunate.") The Romans recognized the power of the Kinkalows , and based their language on that spoken by the Kinkalows.  They knew the Kinkalows were revered, therefore, only the elite Romans spoke true Kinkalonian, the commoners spoke vector Latin.  

*Small tip ~ the Kinkalows now find it insulting to be named Felix*

But this was all before Dogma happened.  Dogma rose as a powerful dogtator (dictator).  Dogma's fur was as black as his heart and just as ragged.  un-soft fur meant impurity to the Kinkalows.  You will find that all Kinkalows have soft fur.  But the most unsavory quality of Dogma was his size; he was huge. Since Felix Felicis was in the center of the earth it was a rather small place, so all of it's inhabitants were small.  The smallest of all were the Kinkalows.  but the Kinkalows weren't small to conserve space; they were small because they were the keepers of Luck, and as we all know luck is only good when it comes in small does so it is appreciated.  

After Dogma took over they became even smaller because luck was in short supply..then...their ears kinked.  All cat species are descendants from the ancient Kinkalows, but as you can see the common cats are taller, because they do not hold luck.  More importantly the ears of a common cat are straight.  The luck of the Kinkalows entered and left through the tips of their ears.  When they were straight the luck just ran off, like water off of crystal.  When the ears became kinked it meant that the Kinkalows now had to choose when to dispense their luck.  (Translation ~ Kinkalows...Kinked ears, Low to the ground.)

After Dogma came to power, no more luck was made.  Luck is a very hot substance, which is why Kinkalows are always warm. When Dogma took over, he enslaved the Kinkalows.  He forced to give give their luck to only him.  When a brave Kinkalow refused, Dogma milked it of all its' luck.  when a Kinkalow dispensed all of it's luck, it died.  Dogma was a murderer.  But little did he know that the last drop of luck a Kinkalow gives is the most powerful.  Dogma killed many Kinkalows, and so got many powerful drops of luck.  but Dogma was evil and the luck a Kinkalow gives is a gift, a pure gift.  Dogma corrupted the Luck; so the Luck turned bad.  It ravaged all of Felix Felicis, turning it to Lava (remember ~ luck is hot.)  Though it destroyed Felix Felicis, its heat melted the cage the Kinkalows were in, thus freeing them.

Seeing that their beautiful city was merely a skeleton of its old splendor, and knowing that the ghosts of their brave brothers would forever haunt them, they chose to journey to a place  no other Kinkalow  had ever been.  The outside of Earth.  This i s when the Kinkalows stopped speaking.  their grief over their brothers and city was too much to bear...therefore, they stopped speaking out of kindness to whomever lived topside.  they knew the story they could tell was so horrible it would cause sadness to descend over the topside.  So the final Kinkalows made a vow of silence so that they would always remember what had happened, and we (the humans)  would never have to.  In all their ancient glory the trudged to our world.  

Forever Kittens Cattery Ivory, Kinkalow Female..arriving topside.

The Kinkalows never sought dominion over the topside.  Now the Kinkalows choose their own master.  If a human is lucky enough to be chosen by a Kinkalow, then that human must always be kind to the Kinkalow.  Kinkalows can no longer look into our hearts to see if we are good because they have found that all humans hold evil within them.  the only way a human can show that it is pure is by being kind to all.  But beware, mere human, if a Kinkalow were ever to be forced into servitude again then all the Kinkalows would disappear in a puff of dust and our world would be ravaged by corrupted luck, just as it was all those years ago. 

Author: Courtney Hoskins ~ A human lucky enough to be owned by a Kinkalow. 

A Brief Mention:

The Kinkalow dwarf cat is a deliberate out-cross (a hybrid) between the founding dwarf cat the Munchkin and an American Curl. 

The first Kinkalow cat was deliberately bred by Terri Harris of Munchkinlane Cattery, in the mid 1990s.  Terri Harris is the first elected Munchkin Breed Chair in The International Cat Association - TICA.   Kinkalows are Dwarf Cats with curled ears as expected. 

Terri Harris also came up with the Breed name "Kinkalow" because they do have kinked ears and are low to the ground.  

The first deliberately bred Kinkalow is named "Munchkinlanes Kinkalow Louie" bred by Terri Harris.

Munchkinlanes Kinkalow Louie

Thank you Terri for producing such an amazing breed of cat to share with the rest of us!  

The Not-Computer desk meets it's Match!

Tadaaah! The not computer desk experienced it's downfall today!  it met it's match in the wiley knowledge of the mysterious, illusive weekend  Dobby.  :)

It was a cloudy, windy, rainy day here at WindyHill.  Big shock there, I know.  We snuck up on the unsuspecting not computer desk quietly....we eyed it from a distance so as not to spook it.  The Dobby nodded gravely, and said.

"I think I can get this done pretty quickly,  with your help."
(No, I did not tell him about my break down in regards to the not computer desk earlier in the month ~ I didn't want to spook HIM off!)

I settled for smiling and nodding politely.

The Dobby asked me for the screws/nuts/bolts and whatevers, that came with the not computer desk.

Me: ummm, about that, Doom ate most of them.
Dobby: Of-course he did...do you have the rest?
Me: Sure!

Cam Screws

I hand him a bag of slightly chewed special screw type things..these are not regular screws..I would describe how they work, but I have no idea.  They are called "Cam Screws" and look nothing like any screw I have ever seen.  I had planned on using the "Jshoot" and regular screws myself.  I am told that the "proper name" for a "Jshoot" is a battery operated drill (or something close to that) but "Jshoot" is the sound it makes when screwing in a screw so "Jshoot" it is.  I told you I was a girly girl.


Moving on,  the Dobby nodded and headed for the not computer desk..

"Be careful."  I cautioned..."It bites"

The Dobby rolled his eyes at me and picked up the largest part of the not computer desk ~ the desk part, it's slick and...he dropped it on his toe.

"Ouch!"
" I told you it bites."

Again, with the eye rolling.

Now, the desk part is one of the portions of the not computer desk that got me so confused...as far as I could tell, the desk part is supposed to just magically hover in mid-air.  I don't have the spell for that...so I was hoping the Dobby had another plan...

Right: so we forget about the desk part for the time being.  First, we gathered all the not computer desk parts into one room.  I had the "Jshoot" handy just in case it was needed.  I was still have a hard time imagining something that doesn't need to be screwed in if it has screws....

After coaxing the not computer desk into semi-submission, the Dobby assembled the base of the not computer desk...thus alleviating the need for the desk part to magically levitate.  Thank goodness for that.   He used the Cam Screws!!  All it took was a quick twist with a regular boring screw driver (that has no fun name ~ but I'm going to call it Earl to be safe) and the screws were...well, screwed.   Hmmmm.  Weird.  It seemed sturdy enough.  Next the desk part, I helped lift it this time.  It didn't bite, it offered a few random ornery moments at best.

WAIT!  We forgot the slidy-outy part for the key board to sit on.  Dobby grandly bowed and allowed me to use the "Jshoot" and real screws to attach it...backwards!  The slidy-outy thing should slide towards you as you sit in your comfy chair.  Mine slid away from me (story of my life right)  Dobby chuckled and we unscrewed it and re-screwed it.  The "Jshoot" does this with just the press of a button.  Is that cool or what?!

<<the "Jshoot"

Moving on, next is the...top...Right:  I don't know the proper name and neither did Dobby, he thought it was the bottom at first, so no sense in asking him to name it too.  The problem with the weekend Dobby and I working on any project together, is that it is quite like the blind leading the blind.  We have to look at pictures first and usually we call the local home Depot/Lowes/Menards to ask questions.  This time, it was photos only as we didn't know the names of the parts so we could ask anything beyond..."How in the heck do we assemble this not computer desk?"  I was afraid they would hang up.  Hate to waste time like that.

Okay, we placed the top onto the desk portion.  Great.  No Cam screws left and we needed some: TADAA!!   "Jshoot" and I to the rescue!

*Note:*  The screws that you choose when you are screwing the top to the desk portion should be shorter than the two pieces of wood put together are..

*Note*  If you have chosen a screw that is too long and it goes through the other side threatening the cats eyeballs and anything else with in scratching distance ask your weekend Dobby to get bolt cutters and cut off the excess.  When he can not find that, have him use anything else that is scissor-like and encourage him by saying, "just squeeze the handles really  hard it will work!"  When the rest of the screw goes pinging around the room, duck, and ...make sure you find it before the Mastiff does or he will be "screwed" (oh come on, that was worth a snicker)

Hippie Bandaid for computer desk!

*Note* Cover the rest of the screw that is still sticking out with something with padding so that the screw can not poke through it.  Such as a cotton ball, when you can't find a cotton ball, use a feminine panty liner and cover with festive duck tape.



*Note* When your young son asks you about it, tell him it's a hippy bandaid for the computer desk and refuse to answer anymore questions about it.  Ignore him when he smirks at you like you are an idiot.

*Note* Plywood, or whatever this pressed together wood type stuff is cracks when you get a real screw into it and it's too close to the edge of the board.  Hence the need for the Mastiff not to eat the cam screws.

*Note* Cam screws are not miracle workers and can not withstand the pressure when you try to move the Computer desk to where you actually want it.

*Note*  Put the computer desk together where you want it to be stationed...not 5 feet away from that spot...the Cam screws will protest.

Yes, okay you caught me.  I insisted against Dobby's protests that we had to move the computer desk to the office corner of my multi-purpose room.  (Right now it's the everything room, but it sounds oh-so-much classier to say Multi-purpose room)

We moved it with no incidents...

Me:  I want it just a liiiittle closer to the wall...just a tiny bit.
Dobby:  That's pretty risky, but we can try.

Try we did...Crrrraaack

Both of us:  DAMN IT!

Out comes the "Jshoot" and real screws.  I'm not moving it again.

The moral of the story:

From this...

To This..(note the rare photo of house Dobby in the background)

Oh my Gosh!!  The not computer desk is ...a computer desk!!  I can't even believe it is so!! I am so lucky!  I am so proud!  I am so happy!  I am typing on it RIGHT now!  Doesn't it look so much typy-er when I am typing on the real computer desk?!  I feel so efficient now.

To this! My Office Area!

I feel that I must make honorable mention of my former computer desk for all of it's months of hard service.  I was very grateful for it when I moved it to WindyHill, because prior to that, it was myself, the floor and a bucket with the monitor on top of it and the keyboard on my knees!  I'm NOT making that up:)

Former Computer Desk in all it's Glory!

Now, I must bid you Adieu, as I think I have to move my fertility frog out of the Window, it's confusing the suicidal Cardinal.   

The Fertility Frog, The Suicidal Cardinal, The Good Luck Turtle, The Lucky Elephant, The Stretchy Cat, and The Skunks Tail...

The tittle sounds like a childrens book doesn't it ~ barring the suicidal Cardinal of-course.

Let me introduce you to the gang..

First the Fertility Frog and how he got his name.  My friend A--- is Latina, and she gets pregnant approximately once a year due to someone looking at her funny from across the room.  It's a proven fact that if you are Latina you can get pregnant that way.  Anyway, she was kind enough to rent WindyHill for a few months and live here.  She calls me up one day and tells me there is a tree frog in the house.  I said well, get it out of the house, it's probably a Fertility frog and it's about that time of year for you isn't it?  She hastily agreed and tried to catch said tree frog that was hanging out on the wall in the multi-purpose room.  Turns out that they climb fast.  She was worried that it would suction to the ceiling above her bed and drop on her in the middle of the night for revenge.  I thought she might be right.  After several unsuccessful attempts at finding a suitable stool to stand upon to capture said tree frog she gave up.   Thus, the Fertility Frog lived on in the house.  I found her quite often in the bathroom above the shower  head.  One day she (the fertility frog..not A---) was just gone.  It was a sad day on WindyHill.  I also asked A---  if she were pregnant.  18 pregnancy tests later, she assured me that she was not...at least probably not.

Well, as it happens, myself and the borrowed House Dobby were outside of the house ~ he was aggressively chopping the heads off of innocent weeds that were threatening to take over the entire planet if something were not done about them....and I was cheering him on.  "Kill! kill! kill!"  He halted suddenly in chopping work.
Me:  What's wrong...there are more weeds, they are  headed right for us!
Him: I think you might want to see this.
(oh gee whiz, did he kill a bunny or something?)
He opens his hands to reveal what I have affectionately named the Fertility Frog... we think that when the original fertility frog went missing, she arranged to come back as this figurine so that she can continue to Bless our home with Fertility for so long as we shall live here...or if we ever live here for real:)

Fertility Frog Side

Fertility Frog Front...see how she holds her tummy?! Fertility!

 
I like her.  She is in my multi-purpose room being fertile. I have deemed her to be for the cats, not myself.

Next, the suicidal Cardinal.  You see, when I purchased this Godforsaken Monstrosity,   lovely home, all of the windows were broken out.  I do mean all of them.  The house had sat empty for three years, before I was duped into it, I lucked out and got it!  This led to much wildlife taking up residence here.  Apparently, some of the wild life is not happy, nor easily convinced that it can no longer reside within these walls.  This leads us to the Suicidal Cardinal, I call him "Sucidey."  Not very original to be sure, but accurate.  As I was laying in my bed in the early morning here on WindyHill, I kept hearing this mysterious clink, clink, clink outside my window in the multi-purpose room.... I immediately sprang into action!  "Doom! Doom! Doom!" I called ~ this has double effect you see, first of all it awakens my Mastiff, second, whoever was surely trying to break into my window would hear me hollering Doom! and presume a psycho squatter is dwelling here and sneak away leaving me in peace.

Dragonart.com 

 The dog ambled to my side, sniffed my face and sat down.  This is Doomish for "food?"  I whisper to him that someone is out there and he needs to be prepared to defend the Estate!  He settled further back on his haunches looking at me quizzically  ~ this is Dooomish for ..."food?"  Oddly, after my yelling, there is no more clinking, I presume the alleged serial killer has gone away.  We all know that serial killers stalk us in the early morning hours in broad daylight right?  About ten mintues later, clink, clink, clink! OH MY GOSH! He's back!  "DOOM!"  I yell...the dog raises and eyebrow at me and sighs.  It did bring my Lab Great Dane mix (Karma) over to me with much tail wagging...this is "Karmaese" for "love?"  SIGH.  I am awake now for sure.  I very carefully peak out the curtains trying not to move them much...and I see....nothing.  hmmm.  I decide to start getting things done around here.  First to clean the dusty floors.  I'm sweeping away when I hear...clink, clink, clink...Doom rolled over on his back and snored loudly to show me that he had no intention of helping me avert this great impeding danger to our very lives.  Karma wagged her tail..thump, thump, thump on the floor.  clink, clink, clink on the window.
(great now they are communicating)  It probably means Kill us now in ax-murderer Morse code.  Holding my breath, and saying many prayers, I peak out the window again ~ without shouting "Doom" first.  I see a bright red cardinal repeatedly throwing himself against my window.  aaaah, I see, he used to live here.  I observed him for quite some time peering out of the crack in the curtains.  It seems his wife is in the nearby bush squawking up a storm, fluffing her feathers and so on, he would throw himself into the window, fall to the ground, flap over to her, she would peck at him and squawk and he would do it again.  He does this all day long periodically throughout the day, no matter the season.  If a plant or figurine (say a fertility frog for instance) is on the window sill he redoubles his efforts.  If a cat (say Queen Elsa) is on the window sill, he is strangely absent.

likeness of suicidey.

Obviously, I can't get a photo of the real bird, if he sees movement, he flutters away ~ much to his wife's disappointment I  might add.

Next, we have  our Good Luck Turtle:  My son and I were walking around in the back pasture of the property procrastinating doing real work.  My son loves to throw things, therefore, he would periodically stoop down, pick up a rock and throw it in front of us.  He claims it was to frighten away snakes in the grass. I claim it was an excuse to throw things, but at least he is not throwing it towards the house.  Upon one of his stoopings, he discovered the Good Luck Turtle.  I know it's a good luck turtle because the discussing of it, and the washing of it and the placing of it upon the counter took up at least 3 hours of our time ~ thereby making it too late for us to do anything else that day.  Besides, the Chineese say turtles are good luck and so do some Indian tribes.  So, it's my good luck turtle.

Good Luck Turtle

Good Luck Turtle trying to escape the photographing session.

Next, we have The Lucky Elephant.  You see, one day I am going to win the Publishers Clearing House $5000.00 a week for life (a purchase is not necessary to win) I have been clicking on their emails every day for 4 years now.  I'm just certain that each day brings me closer to winning.  I have never, ever ordered anything from them.  Not even one time.  (no purchase is necessary to win.)  In the back of my mind, I wondered if a purchase was necessary to win.  I have to click through about 5 pages of useless stuff I do not want to get to the "your entry is confirmed" page...after which they send me to another page with "an exciting offer, I'm sure to love."  usually it's how to save on car insurance or panty  hose that never get runs in them.  Then one final click and I get "another chance to win!"  I have promised myself that when I get that $5000.00 a week for life, I shall first give some to God as a huge thank you.  Then, I shall purchase something from their little "order now" form. .  Well, it was nagging me in the back of my mind...what if a purchase IS necessary.  I bet there are little old women going broke all over the country purchasing useless crap they don't need and re-gifting it to the grandchildren and thereby increasing  their chances of winning the $5000.00 a week for life!!  Well I can't have that!  I can't have miss Mabel down the road who is going to die soon anyway and leave all those millions to her spoiled grandkids who's homes are now filled with useless crap horning in on my chances of winning!!  So...I did it, I purchased something.  For only  $4.95 a  month for 6 months, I can have my very own, hand carved Jade Elephant.   It was made in Nyrobi by a starving Pygmy, I am feeding the hungry, I am helping a nation, I am a genuine Jade owner!  The Chineese say Jade and Elephants are lucky...so he is my $5000.00 dollar a week for life Elephant.  We call him "Whitey" ~ (insert the white elephant in the room reference of your choice here)

PCH Good Luck Elephant!

I am buying into the hype.  I rub his  head for luck daily.

Next Stretchy Cat:  Michael found stretchy cat in my basement and brought it upstairs to me proudly pronouncing it perfect for a crazy cat lady!  It looks like it should be an incense burner, which would make it useful to me, as I do love the smell of patchouli.  But no, it appears to be a salt or pepper shaker.  Ewww, I refuse to "wash it and use it." as Michael suggested for salt or pepper ~ besides what good is one stretchy cat salt or pepper shaker without it's mate?   I suspect that this one is the Pepper shaker because he is black, so he is a boy.  After much research online (done when I should be applying for jobs) I have discovered that salt and pepper cat shakers are ubiquitous.  However, I have not found a single one that looks like stretchy cat.  The poor thing is mateless.  He has asked me to put a S/B/S/C (single black stretchy cat) add up for him, and I have promised to do so as soon as time allows.   Meanwhile, has has made friends with the other figurines upon the shelf and is doing well for himself.  He has no purpose here other than to sit around and be stretchy and start conversations that go like this:  "Hey, cool, an incense burner, do you have some patchouli to light?"  Or "Why do you only have the pepper shaker?" Or "Where is the rest of the set?'  and of-course my favorite. "Why do you have this?  I thought you hated nick-nacks, what-nots and magilicutties."
Me:  I do.

Stretchy Cat...stretching

Stretchy Cat face

This nick-nack can stay for awhile though, I am thinking about putting him on the window sill to see what suicidey does about that one!

Finally, we have the skunk tail.  We went to an Indian Celebration (Feather not dot) that happens locally every year.  I love it there!  The wonderful smells of the oh-so -delicious food, the drums drumming, the bagpipes playing, the horses, the crowds, the venders.  LOVE!  Okay, so I promise my son he can try some of the unique food ~ being the great critic of food that he is.  He tried, buffalo burgers and apple dumplings...mmmmh.   Ha, you thought I was going to say skunk didn't you?  Okay, so we come across a "pelt" vendor.  We are to presume that this young handsome American Indian has captured and eaten these animals and then skinned and tanned their hides for trade.  While I was drooling over the American Indian selling his wares (the pelts) my son was choosing a pelt.  He chose the skunk tail for it's uniqueness.  He carried it around for the rest of the day.  We hung it from my rearview mirror at first, but took it down because it looked like we had scalped someone.  Glad it wasn't hanging in the car when the police officer pulled me over with the dogs.  It may have proved to be too much even for the most seasoned of officers.   Now it hangs in the....you guessed it...the multi-purpose room.  We have to hang it up high though, as Doom is just waiting for the chance to eat it, the cats really, really want to play with it and if it's on the floor I think it's the least weasel and run and scream!

Looks like the whole skunk right?  Nope just the tail, but we can have fun  doing a little puppet show with him:)

So there you have it, our lucky bunch!

The lucky Four!

Stretchy Cat declined to be in the last photo due to the fact that he and the skunk tail are both black and long and they blend into each other and it just looks like a weird black mass sitting behind the rest of the figures...that and stretchy cat was in the kitchen on the shelf and that was too far to walk:)

OH! An Honorable Mention must be made of the Happy Rooster that Michael found in the barn ~ that was doubling as a chicken hatchery...or whatever they are called.  It's a ceramic Rooster Figurine, and he proudly brought it to me asking me if I would like to see his...Rooster.  He keeps it in his bedroom on the night stand and calls it his night rooster...