Psycho Wig Guy...

Thank you all for the many emails reminding me that I did NOT write the Windy Hill Halloween story that is traditionally posted on or near Halloween.  You are right, and to make up for it, I have posted it NOW.  Enjoy ~

So, before we get to the part where I apologize that I have not posted in so long, let us rejoice in the fact, that I have so many stories for you to laugh about...or groan in dismay (whichever pleases you)

So... today was an interesting day... and it's only like 3:30 pm!  We have so many hours left, I may have to update later. 

Okay, let me set the mood, I am dutifully dressed up in my "house-wife on Holiday -teacher clothes" because I left the confines of Windy Hill in order to venture forth into the wide-wide world.  That, and I had a counseling appointment.

First we have to discuss synchronicity.  I was scheduled for an 8:00 am appointment, but due to circumstances beyond my control  ( I was taking care of some waif that needed me in that very moment) so I called the office to reschedule ~ normally that means it would be sometime next month...however...shockingly there was an appointment available later today.  What?!  So, yes of course I took that appointment.  Keep this in mind for later...

Back to my housewife, school teacher out fit and duty and all of that.  It's a blustery, snowy day, I am in my fine, sleek new car and listening to my favorite spooky podcast.  It's called "The No Sleep Podcast"  it's found on itunes, and it's free.  I am in the middle of a particularly scary story as I pull up to a clear spot at the counselors office.

No Sleep Podcast on itunes

 I mournfully turn off the scary podcast and prepare to leave the car and brave the cold.  I hadn't been paying much attention to the surroundings because I was so enthralled with my podcast.  I gather my purse and phone and glance at the vehicle next to me rather absentmindedly as I exit the car. 

I gasp at what I see!  The hill billy looking rattletrap next to me was no surprise... it was the woman's wig entangled upon the antenna that struck me as odd to say the least. 

I have questions!  I mean... was he taking the body out of the passenger door and in his state of mind didn't realize she had lost her weave?  Clearly he drove all the way here in the vehicle weave and all.

Actual wig on antenna

 Is this a new antenna accessory - do we now pick these up in the auto department of Walmart? 

Was this a Halloween Costume gone wrong?  I mean it is the end of November...so it would have to have been horribly wrong. 

Maybe this guy and his girlfriend were in a horrible fight, and that's why he is here at the counselors office:  There was a horrible fight, they are driving and arguing and she gets so angry she decides to jump out of the car, as she is jumping he is grabbing her arm cursing at her, his eyes are on her, in this moment,  they hit a deer, he loses his grip...  her wig gets stuck in the antenna as she careens out the door to the hard pavement below.  Now he is really pissed!  His bumper is dented, his grill is smashed, his windshield is cracked, and where is that bitch?!  He finds her, beats her to death, fails to notice the damning wig and gets back in the truck.  He realizes he can't leave her there and puts her in the back of the truck under the camper shell.  She's probably still there.

I looked accusingly at both the wig and the camper shell of the pick up truck. 

I chastise myself for being so judgmental and stereotyping people.  In fact, perhaps the truck and the wig belong to the woman who is sitting in the counselors waiting room, happily reading "New ways to please your man" in Cosmo right now.  Perhaps it's her wig, and she is making some happy statement about women's power or some such.  Maybe it is a testimony that she is both beautiful inside and out and she doesn't need a wig.  That would mean the counseling is working!

I was pretty proud of myself for that positive spin on the whole creepy wig story.  I look at the wig and the truck one final time... definitely a serial killer and that is the trophie from his last victim.  There probably IS a body in the back of that truck, it's cold, so it wouldn't stink ....

Maybe a neighbor kid was playing a prank?

I shake myself out of my speculations and head towards the counselors office.  I am burning with curiosity!  I firmly decide that I am going to ask the person in the counselors office what's up with the wig?  Unless... he is a tattooed, has a buzz cut, scraggly beard and tattered jeans.   Then, I am right and he is a serial killer, and I am not going to ask anything. 

Again, I chastise myself for being such profiler!  Shame on me! Probably is a sweet old lady.  I am going to ask!

I enter the counselors office and I see a man there, he has a buzz cut, a scraggly beard, tattered jeans and a tattoo on his neck and forearm....

Sigh, I will  never know, I am not asking the psycho wig guy how the wig came to be entangled on his antenna.

Maybe it was a sexy hint from his blond girlfriend that she was going to play the brunet cop tonight?! 

Maybe it wasn't a wig at all...what if it was a scalp!?

When my name was called I had to walk right past him, he glanced up and I just know he was looking at my auburn hair as a slid by....

That last sentence SHOULD be the end of this story, but this is Windy Hill, so it's not the end.  When I leave the counselors office, psycho wig guy is no longer in the waiting room.  I briefly wonder if he is in with a counselor or if he has left the building.  My answer was quickly realized when I walked to my car and I see the wig tossed to the pavement like so much chicken scratch, and the rattle trap hillbilly mobile is absent from the parking lot.

Wig on the ground

He must be looking for the next wig!  Maybe it was a prank form a neighbor child, or a disgruntled girlfriend.  Now, about the synchronicity:  If I hadn't been  helping a friend in crisis over the phone, I wouldn't have had to reschedule my appointment.  If I hadn't called to reschedule my appointment I wouldn't have been told that miraculously someone had called and canceled for later that very day.  (Really wonder what that their story is)  If they hadn't cancelled, I couldn't have come in and I wouldn't have been baffled by the wig, and I wouldn't have had this story to tell. 

Isn't it amazing how all of that fell into place just for this one event to take place?  So, all those times that we get depressed or down because something is or is not happening in our lives, remember the psycho wig guy ... because there are always things going on behind the scenes that we don't know about.  Maybe that one thing you are hoping will happen or hoping will not happen is just one wig away!!    Hang in there friends, it's all being worked out.